X-Men that kids actually are

In general, most kids can be categorized as one of the various xmen.
For instance, the mostly quiet and intelligent but randomly displaying savage traits are like Beast. Or the ones that keep running into walls are Shadow Cats..

Here's a list of X-Men that kids actually are:

(oh for new parents there is also advice on how to deal with them)

Toad - dirt, diary, duck, dodo or a dinosaur.. All of it goes straight into this kid's mouth. If you look away, your mini golf course will be swallowed whole.
Neutralizer: try the Hannibal mask

Juggernaut - Its amazing how some kids get really large and really quick. Its like they're connected to a pressurized balloon pump! These kids also have the capability to not realize that they're .. well not small. You can catch them bulldozing through various toys, tables, bookshelves and other kids just because they saw the poster of a burger or a live cow..
Neutralizer: try pricking with a pin.. the kid might explode .. But hey, problem solved no?

Wolverine - some kids are just plain hairy.. boy or girl, doesn't matter. No man should be that hairy, let alone kid for that matter. The amount this kid would have made the mother puke during pregnancy, I'm surprised the mothers don't give birth by puking.
Neutralizer: swallow your trimmer during pregnancy.

Rogue - these kids have a simple motto.. "What is mine is of no concern.. the real importance of existence is to snatch everything from every other kid in the world"..
Neutralizer: straitjacket!

Pyro - some kids can really, really get pissed... in public, mothers shall get bitch-slapped and fathers shall get round-house-kicked (if viewers are lucky, a free tiger-upper-cut to the dad's nuts). And the famous "Police will get you" technique does not scare them one bit. They're far too bad ass for that and will
tiger-upper-cut the cop if needed.
Neutralizer: keep frozen at all times, check with Dr.Freeze for advice on the subject matter.

Syren - at all times, these kids have only one tone and one look.. The look says.. "if you breathe, I'm gonna cry all over your sorry ass."
The tone has the decibel levels of a supernova (exploding star).
Special public performances happen at locations like Church, Cinema, Theatre,etc.
Neutralizer: shove a plunger into kid's mouth and store in vacuum.

Storm - these kids are like magic! They can enter a perfectly well arranged room and in an instant, Turn the room inside out.. Every single object gets displaced and all at once. You could be watching TV and realize the show is running upside down, you think the kid attacked the TV, but reality is that ur sitting on ur head.
Neutralizer: chloroform.

Mastermind - these are the most uncanny of the lot. They have a very firm hold on neuron-network of their parents minds. Hence only THEY think their kid is the most adorable thing on this otherwise petty planet.. In reality, even the pet dog what's to gnaw on the kid..
Neutralizer: release the pet dog.

Dark Phoenix - the destroyer of life, universe and everything! These kids make Sauron look like a Teletubby. They have characteristics of all of the above kids, all at once! Anything and everything in their paths will be
annihilated - walls, floors, electronics, automobiles, neighbors, friends, families, pets, bank balance, space-time, everything!  
Neutralizer - simple, make a neat deep slit on each of your wrists and sit back and relax..


  1. Amazing....your neutralizers are simply awesome lol!

  2. Thanks Aparna, frankly the thought was that girls would get angry with this (you know mother instinct n all).. but you've proved that wrong.. 10 points to you!


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